to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize