ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
