I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
