just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
