Betty ford says i'm here all night
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
