His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
