i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
