Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
