i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
