May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
