you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
