I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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