The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i believe in u and ur pee
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
