Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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