she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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