He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
