Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
