I feel like I'm in dance class right now
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
