OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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