i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
