Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
