I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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