Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
