he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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