That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
