i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
