problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
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I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
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I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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