i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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