Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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