I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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