my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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