I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
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he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
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He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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