Where is the hickey?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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