I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night