turn off your phone and go to bed
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.