it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?