what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?