Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.