Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
