i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize