who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
