u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize