i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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