let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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