dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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