I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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