3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
