that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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