Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
