White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Please don't give away my fajitas
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
