Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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