Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
