i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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