I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
