Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
