Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
