Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Success! We fucked roommates!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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