she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
