grandma shit on top of the toilet
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
