His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
please don't ironically join a cult
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