just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize