I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
