Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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