I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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