will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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