Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
