sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
