Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
