The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
